Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
