I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
