Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
