i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
she told me i tasted like america
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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