I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
