I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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