I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
She needs sedatives and a leash
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
