Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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