Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
