he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
