Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
