I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
