Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
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Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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