I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
