he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
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His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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