my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Randomize
