New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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