I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
