That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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