So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
