I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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