? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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