The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
