I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
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