508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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