Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
