And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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