we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
