I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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