When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
