So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
