my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
