Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
