You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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