you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
