He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
