Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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