Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
