The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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