don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
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