When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
