Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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