You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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