i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
they need to just BURY HIM!
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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