Jerry, you need to find god
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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