can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
