i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
