I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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