Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
