I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
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