Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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