The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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