Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
