in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
