Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
His nipple licking is glorious
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