i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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