So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
