how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
