I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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