hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We had to coat check the pizza.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
