Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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