Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
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