So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
