i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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