If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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