So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
