I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
