I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
