So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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