the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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