I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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