In the future we'll all be gay
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
