She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
